Dear Ella, This past year has been a hard one. I lost my mother, who was also my best friend, after going through a rough period with my youngest son who was diagnosed with ADHD.
My marriage has taken a big hit as well. We’re not quite separated, but we might as well be. We are living like strangers in the same house.
I’m not a religious person at all, but I found myself praying to G-d on more than one occasion, seeking help to get through this. I actually went to the synagogue near my house last week and bought myself a High Holiday ticket. Now I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I’m struggling with all kinds of emotions and feeling a bit ridiculous. Did I think it would solve all my problems?
Turning to Faith
Dear Turning to Faith
Faith is a very individual concept. There’s no right or wrong. There’s only what’s right for you as an individual. Some people are born into an observant lifestyle, and they practice their beliefs from Day 1. Others come to religion for different reasons, such as marriage, spiritual fulfillment, tradition, search for peace etc. Whatever the reason, it makes no difference. In your case, it may be the pursuit of hope. What you’ve been through is too much for you to handle on your own, so you’re searching for help. Praying is a sort of meditation. It gives you the time and permission you need to think and dig down deep into your soul for answers, for peace and for strength. You’re turning to religion to find that, as so many people do. There’s no need to question your motives.
Rosh Hashanah is an excellent time to start being introspective. It’s the “beginning,” the start of a new year, as well as new thoughts, ideas and changes. It’s a time to look back and see what we could have done differently and bring those positive changes with you into the future so that you can make a better life for you, your family and those around you.
Spirituality isn’t ridiculous. It’s a way of accessing your inner being. Don’t fight it, I think it’s a journey you won’t be sorry you took.
I would like to wish all my readers a very happy and healthy New Year. L’Shanah Tovah Tikateivu V’Taichatemu.